Wounded

I struggle with it everyday
what I want to be
and what I am
but I'm doing the best I can
trying to be
me
and I'm getting there
slowly
everybody seems to think
it's all sorted
but it's not
and even though I know
how to move forward
I don't
afraid
that I might end up
ten steps back
wounded again.

Grandad

His body is wasting away
his muscles have gone to pot
and he knows
he knows his time is short
and he wants it to come
fast, but not really
he wants to be with her
the love of his life
but for now
he's just waiting
putting up with the pain
of getting old
the hearing is fading
the teeth are all gone
but the mind is sharp
like and eighteen year old - strong
he still has the jokes
the smile and the enthusiasm
has a thirst for knowledge
about the world
but at ninety-five, is not really of it
doesn't understand
new fangled ways
but still has an amazing love of nature
a healthy appetite
the mind is willing but the body is not able
to see as much of the outside world
as he'd like
but he still sits, waiting
taking it all in
enjoying his family visiting
but glad for the peace when they've gone
watching all sorts of programmes
listening to an old song and singing along
and the love is still there
shown all the time, in words and actions
from him and to him
it ebbs and flows
always
I could envy a life so long
the many things he's seen
the wars he's won
and when I ask I know
that he really wants to go
and can't understand
his bodily functions failing him
they weren't made to last that long
and he's so strong
and I miss him when I'm gone
the beautiful grandfather
I've grown up around
and I'll miss him even more
when he's gone
but I'll know
he's happy with her.

Books

When I read,
I am transported
beyond my wildest dreams
to a world of romance
and wonderment
the likes of which
I've never seen
in the tainted reality I live
where consumerism
and power rule
rather than the simple things that matter
love,
honesty,
trust.

Sub-conscious

As we journey through
this twisting kaleidoscope
of colour and culture
trying to find our path
on a road to nowhere
but where our minds take us
we be what we want to be
but how do we see
what that is meant to be
without the possibility
of a new tomorrow

For Jeff

When all is said and done
and we've wept an ocean on the pillow
the dull ache in our heart
has exhausted all the good in us
and the bitter taste leaves us numb
from morning until night
when we forget why we're still here
and you aren't
that's when we realise
we are you
you made us
and will forever
live on
through us
small actions
a reflection
of the greatness
you once were.

Canouan

So I sit on this beautiful island
the chaos swirling around
but the sea
calm, beautiful, blue
remains,
sweeping in and out
the ebb and flow of life
not its concern
it goes on regardless
and I realise
that life is like this
I must go on regardless
and hope the wave
of beauty, love and honesty
continues in my life
forever a part of me
like the sea.